I try to be empathetic and understanding, I try to be calm and reassuring when dealing with the family. Inside I am just screaming, ‘What happened to you people?!? And why oh why would you want to do this these kids?!? And if you don’t start being nice to my beautiful Blitzen, seriously, I am gonna kick your you know what.’ But then I check in and remember that I don’t know the full story here. That people are fragile and sometimes broken and often overwhelmed and afraid. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt – life is hard and for some people, it is simply unmanageable. And Blitzen has so many amazing qualities and these qualities came from someplace and probably some of them, maybe lots of them, came from her family. And whether she is creative and imaginative, athletic and energetic, smart and funny because of or in spite of all that she has been through, I try to remember that it is all a part of who she is.
But whenever we have these rough weekends, I tend to want to change course. Andrew often wants to dig in. Probably this is what makes us a good team, we stay the course with minor but significant corrections along the way. We continue to work on building trust with Blitzen, encouraging her to express her anger and frustration in positive ways. But it is hard. I told my mother today that I wish Blitzen had a ‘whoosh valve’ like on a blow-up mattress and I could just press the ‘whoosh’ whenever I see the tension rising so that all of the yuck would just blow away in a loud but benign stream of air.