Has, apparently, re-emerged. From what I understand, he has been missing for about 8 and 3/4 years. But it is tpr time and so the agency found him (or maybe he was always found but now he wants in?!?). There is talk of visitation and building a relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, I am suspicious as hell and a little pissed – where have you been, buddy? Blitzen has really, really needed you and um, well, where HAVE you been? But people change, they grow, they step up and take responsibility. And knowing your parents is a really important thing – even when your parents have struggled (or just plain failed) to do what they need to do – it is really critical to understand that piece of who you are and where you come from. So, if Blitzen has the opportunity to develop a relationship with this person, then I want to support it.
Now I’ve chatted about family visits before. The nemesis of practically every foster parent if all the blogs I obsessively read are any indicator. Blitzen’s mom thought it would be a grand idea to just announce to Blitzen that mystery dad is back during the last visit. The visit which was chaotic as usual, the visit where no one was prepared to help manage the emotional fall out from such a pronouncement. She just blurted out ‘Your dad wants to see you’.
Ok, great. But when, bio mom, when? And how, bio mom, how? Think!, bio mom, THINK!!!!
The agency is gonna do their thing, check this guy out and try to set something up. But here is what I know, the number he gave the agency does not work. There is no plan, formal or informal, to see him again until the next court date in May. But Blitzen now knows that he is floating out there, wanting to see her and is mentioning it several times a day, ‘My dad wants to see me’ and she is so hopeful when she says it. Andrew and I play our neutral, optimistic, non-committal role and ask her how she feels about that. At some point soon, she is going to ask, ‘When can I see my dad?’ and of course, no one knows.