Archive for February, 2012

Has, apparently, re-emerged.  From what  I understand, he has been missing for about 8 and 3/4 years.  But it is tpr time and so the agency found him (or maybe he was always found but now he wants in?!?).  There is talk of visitation and building a relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing.  I mean, I am suspicious as hell and a little pissed – where have you been, buddy? Blitzen has really, really needed you and um, well, where HAVE you been?  But people change, they grow, they step up and take responsibility.  And knowing your parents is a really important thing – even when your parents have struggled (or just plain failed) to do what they need to do – it is really critical to understand that piece of who you are and where you come from.  So, if Blitzen has the opportunity to develop a relationship with this person, then I want to support it.

Now I’ve chatted about family visits before.  The nemesis of practically every foster parent if all the blogs I obsessively read are any indicator.  Blitzen’s mom thought it would be a grand idea to just announce to Blitzen that mystery dad is back during the last visit.  The visit which was chaotic as usual, the visit where no one was prepared to help manage the emotional fall out from such a pronouncement.  She just blurted out ‘Your dad wants to see you’.

Ok, great.  But when, bio mom, when?  And how, bio mom, how?  Think!, bio mom, THINK!!!!

The agency is gonna do their thing, check this guy out and try to set something up.  But here is what I know, the number he gave the agency does not work.  There is no plan, formal or informal, to see him again until the next court date in May.  But Blitzen now knows that he is floating out there, wanting to see her and is mentioning it several times a day, ‘My dad wants to see me’  and she is so hopeful when she says it.  Andrew and I play our neutral, optimistic, non-committal role and ask her how she feels about that.  At some point soon, she is going to ask, ‘When can I see my dad?’ and of course, no one knows.


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Andrew’s tuckus

So…..the other day I walked into the kitchen and gave my wonderful husband’s adorable tuckus a playful swat.  This interaction was witnessed by Blitzen, who looked at me, quite shocked and declared:

‘Girls can’t grab boys’ booties’

Carrie – to myself, think fast, think fast.  Out loud, ‘Well, I think it is ok if the people are married and everyone agrees that it is alright’.

Blitzen, sternly, ‘No, GIRLS can’t grab BOYS booties!’

Carrie – to myself, ah, very interesting, what to say, what to say.  Out loud, ‘Well, I think that girls can do anything that boys are allowed to do.  But you probably shouldn’t grab anyone’s booty unless you are married to them and they’ve said that they don’t mind’.

Blitzen, with a tone intimating that she knows that I am little slow but she is willing to work with me, ‘Of course they can’t.  There are boy things and girl things’.

Carrie – to myself, thank goodness we’re no longer talking about butts and touching them.  Out loud, ‘Of course they can.  I can’t think of anything that girls can’t do.’ To myself, except like play in the NFL or get elected as the president in most countries and …. Out loud, ‘Except maybe grow a beard’.

Blitzen – ‘My mom shaves under her arms’.

Carrie – ‘Oh, that is nice, some women do that but you don’t have to.  It is a decision you can make for yourself when you get older’.

Blitzen – ‘I am going to shave under my arms’.

Carrie – ‘Excellent, let’s talk about it again in like 4 or 5 years’.

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Family movie at home

I went to brunch, with friends.  Grown up friends and we ate at a place where someone brought your food to the table and the napkins were linen.  Oh joy!  But that is not what the post is about.  Andrew and Blitzen spent Sunday afternoon together and had plans to watch the original Muppet movie.  Apparently, it lasted about as long as the popcorn.  There was lots of fast forwarding and skipping about and such.  We probably should have predicted this since she watches the same scene in high school musical over and over and over.  They went to the park instead.  Fun was had by all.

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I think that I have mentioned before what an incredibly creative child Blitzen is.  It is amazing that despite all the drama and trauma she has experienced, she is able see a world full of magic and wonder and possibility.  On Friday, Blitzen recieved a really cool book with photos of fairy houses out in nature.  Apparently, this is a thing and people have created some rather stunning, miniature abodes for imaginary creatures with woood and grass and flower petals and seashells.  Blitzen was enchanted and inspired.  And using some logs for the fireplace, some flowers from the vase on the table and some doll furniture, she created Fairy House #2 — perhaps this is the country abode of the fairies that occassionally visit and leave us notes.  I thought it was quite brilliant, not to mention beautiful.

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Funny Blitzen Quotes

‘You gotta work with me here, lady!’ is what Blitzen said to me this morning after noting that my shoes did not go at all with my dress.   Everybody is a fashion critic.  And for the record, they were just my walking to work shoes…

‘You never do anything around here but clean’ was shouted at me last night when I declined to cover the guinea pig cage at bedtime.

‘Come to mama’ with a shake and shimmy when I asked if I could have a hug and a kiss on my way out the door.

‘I’m just enjoying being a kid’ when explaining to my co-workers why she would not be staying at the office and working with me all day during her winter break.

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Blitzen loves her babies, loves them, loves them.  And tries very hard to be a nurturing and loving mama to all 6 (Ginger Snap, Muffin Cupcake, Hello Daisy, Aurora, Joshua and one that I call Sacajawea because I cannot remember her real name but she has long ponytails tied with these fringy leather bands so…).   On Sunday, she decided that they needed a stroller.  Upon hearing that I wasn’t willing to go to Toys R Us to purchase one, she suggested that we make one from scratch.  Below, a photo of an hour plus of labor, trial and error, and thoughtful problem-solving.  The first ever cardboard and masking tape stroller.  And she loves it and so do the babies.

Carefully designed with custom features

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The tea party

My mother-in-law, P, is helping us with childcare this week (woo-hoo – you rock, P!) while the NYC schools are weirdly closed for a week for winter break.  Not to get all old fashioned on you but when I was a kid, winter break was at the end of December and then you just had to suck it up until springbreak.  But that is not the point of the story.

P brought Blitzen a tiny little tea set that she thought might be a fun addition to the fairy land sitting on our living room window sill.  Now Blitzen, master of all social graces, can be really suspicious of gifts.  She usually thinks, upon recieving them, that they are wrong or crappy in some way and eyes them warily until you explain how marvelous they are.  The events as they played out this morning, as told to me by Andrew (you never blog anymore, sweetpea, so I’m stealing your material!).

So P gives Blitzen the tiny tea set.  Blitzen asks, oh so politely I am sure, what is this?  P explains it is a little tiny tea set.  Who is it for?  Blitzen inquires (demands).  It is for someone small.  Me? Blitzen asks.  No, someone smaller, is the reply.  A baby? Blitzen asks.  No, someone really tiny, that flies.

Apparently Blitzen’s eyes lit up, she got very excited and said with great joy, IT’S FOR AN EAGLE?!?

Ummmmm — ok.

The bird of prey tea party was just getting underway when I left for work!

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