Andrew and I received a notification in the mail about a month ago, advising us that a permanency hearing had been scheduled. So we put it on our calendars and went. It was 15 minutes long and 10 of those minutes were spent calendaring – as in the officers of the court all looking at their calendars to figure out a mutually agreeable date for the next hearing. It is now clear to me that our entire criminal justice system can probably be fixed if everyone just used google calendar. Seriously, it would save millions and all that money could go to educating the poor and disenfranchised, teaching people good parenting skills and responsible family planning. But I digress.
We went and we probably didn’t need to. Nothing happened. They reviewed some court documents, found an error, corrected it and scheduled another hearing for September.
Blitzen’s Nana was there. We also met Blitzen’s mother for the first time – we literally just said ‘hi’. She was busy and upset – we certainly did not expect a heartfelt conversation. I was kind of surprised by her lack of interest or curiousity but then again, not really. I think that I have mentioned before that Blitzen perceives herself to be the root of her families problems. She has said this to us many times. It is either “I am the reason that all the kids are in care” or “Mommy thinks it is my fault that the kids are in care”. It is hard to know the reality of statement number 2 but Nana has offered some cooberation there so it is probably not a complete fiction that Blitzen has been, in some way, scapegoated by mom and at least a few of siblings. We believe that there was an incident involving Blitzen that ultimately resulted in the children’s last removal from their home. So if you were a very immature person with no sense of responsibility or accountability and perhaps some mental health issues, you could say that all of this was Blitzen’s fault. Or if you were a nine year old that believed yourself to be totally unlovable, you could say that. Anyone else would know that it could not in any way, shape or form, be true. But Blitzen feels like an outsider to be sure.
All this to say that I am not sure what I expected to get when I met Blitzen’s mom but I didn’t get anything except a face that now will pop into my head when Blitzen talks about her. She is young, oh so very young, and scared too, I am sure.
And since Nana was there, Andrew and I got our usual earful of kinda crazy, half-information that makes us scratch our heads saying “Did she just really say that?”
Nana informed us that the agency has been falsifying records in order to win the case against Bio Mom. I really didn’t have the heart to say that I couldn’t imagine anyone in the courtroom caring enough to jeopardize their career by falsifying anything – what would be the point? It is possible that the agency has been irresponsible, maybe they haven’t done everything well, but perjury seems an extreme reaction to this particular case. Then Nana let us know that because the records have been falsified, Bio Mom was getting the kids back and when she does, she will be keeping 5 and giving Blitzen to Nana. When she says these things, we literally do not know how to respond. We often simply gape at her, our mouths hanging open, words failing to form as our brains spin around and around thinking – how on earth does a family get this screwed up?
Fast-forward 16 minutes, Andrew and I are exiting the courthouse and I am now yelling “What, what, is she crazy? Doesn’t she see how damaging that kind of arrangement would be to these kids? They are not f@#$ing puppies! You can’t take your pick of the litter.”
Guess we’ll see what happens in September.