May I have a glass of water with that side of crazy, please?

Blitzen has been having a very emotional week.  She has become convinced that I love only Dasher and Dancer and do not love her.  That I want those girls to live with me and I want her to move out.  You may ask yourself why she thinks this?  Well, I hold Dasher’s hand when we walk down the street (she is 4) and I very actively ask Dancer about school because I don’t think anyone else does and I encourage her to talk to me about books and school work, etc.  This is, in Blitzen’s mind, proof of my new found and exclusive affection for her siblings.

Last night, around homework time, she worked herself up into quite a state.   Lots of yelling, stomping and slamming doors.

I was sitting at the table trying very hard to demonstrate to the person screaming ‘You never listen to me’ that I REALLY was listening when Blitzen picked up the glass of water in front of me and held it over my head.

Blitzen to me, ‘I will dump this on you. I WILL do it and then what happens? Then what? What are you going to do?’

Note that this is all happening at a decibel that OSHA would insist requires special ear plug thingies.  A little bit of the water drips on my back accidentally, Blitzen (comically? sweetly? crazily?) gently wipes it off while still hollering and threatening me.

I reach up, gently take the glass from her hand and turn it upside down, right over my head. It was a full glass too and cold – it had ice in it.  Brrr!  Then I say, ‘If you dump a glass of water on me, I’ll get wet.  That is the only thing that will happen.’

Blitzen is stunned, staring at me silently for about 30 seconds.  Then she goes off again, ‘I wasn’t going to do it. Why did you do that?’ All in a very angry tone.

Carrie to Blitzen, ‘I am not angry, why are you?’

Blitzen to Carrie, ‘I hate you and I am going to swear and cuss. I did when I was a baby. I’ve done it with my friends, watch me.’

Carrie to Blitzen, ‘Really?  Which words are you going to say? F@#$, or S@#$, or D#@$.  Those are not very nice words and I try not to use myself but sometimes, people swear.’

Blitzen storms off to her room and re-emerges with her laundry basket, screaming, ‘ I am going to dump this on the floor. Watch me, I am going to do it.’ And she holds the basket aloft.

I march into my room, return with my laundry basket and then I dump my clothes on the floor.  And I say, ‘If we dump the laundry basket, there will be clothes on the floor.  Later, we’ll have to pick them up.  That is the only thing that will happen.’

Blitzen is flabbergasted.  She is furious, she is afraid.

She storms off into her room and slams the door so hard that she breaks the door jam, AGAIN!  She rants and raves to herself.  Eventually, she gets quieter, she sits on her bed and she calls me to come help her get the guineas out of their cage so that she can pet them.  (Petting the guineas is a big self-soother in our house.  They are worth like 10 weeks of therapy for every 10 minutes of petting.)

We all sit on the bed, Andrew, Blitzen and me, holding and petting the guineas and talking about what just happened and why and what we all might do differently next time.  Blitzen asks me if I really love her and I say that I do and I always will no matter what she does and no matter where she lives.  She cries and pets her guineas and gives them carrots.

We finish our evening routine in relative calmness.

Blitzen goes to bed.

I eat 2 cupcakes and then I go to bed.

Thank goodness for guinea pigs and cupcakes.