Usually when Blitzen starts a sentence this, she is ready to negotiate or is preparing to lay out a plan that will surely convince us of whatever it is she would like to convince us.
Could she please get a very small dog, after the guineas die because she will be lonely for a pet? Can’t we go Disney World sometime this summer, if Andrew and I just save up for it, it won’t be that expensive, right? How about if we let her swim for 10 minutes but then, we add-on 10 more minutes so that we all can practice mermaid swimming together? You get the picture.
Last night, Blitzen asked if she could really stay with us. Emphasis on really. Now we’ve had several versions of this conversation and they are all difficult because so much of Blitzen’s permanency plan is up in the air.
So last night when she asked the question, I said that everyone who cares about her (me, Andrew, Nana, bio Mom, the folks at our agency and even the judge) want to be sure that she is happy, healthy and safe. And that she can stay with us as long as she needs to and as long as everyone agrees it is the best thing for her. And then she did something that she has never done before. She said, ‘But if you adopt me, I could stay here forever.’
Ummmmm……shoot, I wasn’t expecting that one. We talked about how we’d need to make a decision like that as a family with help from her bio family and the agency and NAC. And Andrew said that no matter what, we were going to know her forever, even if she didn’t live with us forever, and that we’d always be friends and around to help her. And then she started to cry and said that she really just wanted to live with Nana and Dancer and Dasher.
Sigh….there is just way too much going on it that little tiny 9-year-old head.