Blitzen really loves fancy outfits — I mean really loves them and shoes. But, give her clothes as a gift or surprise and it is a downward spiral. Last night I brought home for Blitzen a leopard print skirt with sequins, matching pink tank top and scarf. What is not to love, if you are 11? I was a fool and mentioned that I had hoped the outfit would arrive in time to go in her easter basket. Oh my goodness. First, the quivering lip and sad eyes, then the flash of anger, then a verbal torrent of how she never gets any good gifts ending with the following pronouncement, ‘I am not spending winter with your family ever again. They treat me like a rat – all you ever buy me and all they ever buy is clothes.’ Winter = the holiday break, fyi. I am not sure that is an accurate portrayal of reality – of our gift giving history or of the life of a rat (perhaps like a really well dressed super model rat?). I sense there is some deeply buried memory of getting underwear and used socks for her birthday that triggers this. I will also note that there was a very fancy sequined leopard parading around the living room this morning so she came around and said thank you.
Archive for the ‘Blitzen’ Category
Blitzen is teaching a special course at her school again – she is working with the music teacher and teaching a group of 2nd graders how to write songs. Blitzen is quite the lyricist, by the way. I am sure that no one is surprised by that. I can’t wait to hear the future hits this group produces.
And no parents, no kids lawyers yet. So I glad that I am not there. I sent him the following email:
Is there an algebraic formula that we can use to figure out what time we are actually supposed to come like 9:00am / x (y+1) = z – 30/ n2
In other words, come 3 hours, 49 minutes and 34 seconds late.
Blitzen has been so happy to be able to spend quality, real life time with her mother and sisters. Not locked up at the agency, not just 2 hours – real time. And I have been so happy to see Blitzen getting that time and attention and love (maybe sometimes a little jealous and nervous too but really, mostly happy) and for me and Andrew to get 6 hours a week together to just be. We get a little ‘quality time’, we putter, we errand, we go out for a nice quiet relaxing lunch, we watch 2 or 3 tv shows in a row. It has been refreshing and invigorating and it is filling us both up. I hadn’t really realized how completely depleted I was. I have so much more patience, more mindfulness — I can simply breathe through a 25 minute discussion about why I suck because I won’t let an 11 year old wear eyeliner and 4 inch heels to school and it never goes off the rails, never descends into a power struggle because I am more in touch with myself and the parent that I want to be.
Every parent should get Saturday afternoons off.