Several people, in different contexts, have asked us about the siblings recently. And would we consider taking one, two, all 6? And certainly we cannot take all 6. Living in NYC and given the work that Andrew and I both do outside the home (which not only supports our family financially but also feeds and sustains us in lots of other ways too) we can’t take on 7 children with emotional, behavioral and cognitive special needs.
But, could we take one more? And if we did, which one? And if we did, would it really be the best thing for Blitzen? And if we did, would it really be the best thing for Carrie and Andrew?
We discuss this, off and on. We wonder if the benefit of being coupled with one of her siblings would add value for Blitzen – she so longs for bio-family connection on a daily basis – or would our divided attention along side some of the negative and competitive patterns of interaction that are so deeply ingrained within the sibling dynamics undo the positive progress of the past 17 months? We wonder.
We always said that we were a 1 kid family – that was the intention. We also were pretty committed to getting a child that we would support through reunification or family placement and then beyond as solid, lifelong mentor/aunt-uncle type supporters. And we took a child that was headed for a kinship placement and then, well — 1.5 years later, we’re asking the agency about adoption paperwork.
It is hard to know where is all gonna land. Andrew would like to find families for all the kids that live in our neighborhood and share a compatible parenting style and basically start a foster parent commune. Hmmm, not sure that is gonna work but if anyone is up for it, let us know.