Visit with Rebecca, Clementine and Sandy

This Sunday, following our brunch with family, Blitzen wanted to go to Brooklyn to visit Rebecca and the baby ladies.  Rebecca sweetly accommodated our last minute visit request  – then she took a nap and we took the babies on a walk.  This is Blitzen’s favorite activity, caring for babies.  As usual, she was in charge of the stroller, bottle assembly, feeding and walking/bouncing fussy babies.

At one point in the visit, Blitzen suggested that we create a baby sling.  So using a baby blanket and her sweater, we fashioned a sling.  It was not quite sturdy enough for walking around but it worked well when we were sitting on the bench. As we sat in the sun, shoes off, the littlest of us relaxing in the homemade baby sling, Blitzen said, “I am good at taking care of babies because I’ve been practicing with my dolls.”  That is so true but Blitzen is also good at taking care of babies because she is Blitzen — kind, caring, empathetic and patient.  It is a wonderful thing to watch.

Notice how I artfully colored Sandy’s face to hide her identity

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I am very anxious

About the 3rd grade play. It is Friday, Blitzen has a ton of lines which she has not quite memorized, she has been crying at play practice and her family may (or may not – who the hell knows?!?) be coming to school to watch.

What if she forgets her lines? What if her bio-family is unkind or crazy or doesn’t show up?

Really, it is much pressure for a 42 year old. I mean 10 year old — I keep reminding myself that this is not about me…..

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Oceania

Blitzen is teaching a special course at school to the other kids called Oceania. It is all about the ocean and how to make mermaid tails. Yesterday was the first day and she told me, with much surprise in her voice, that only girls signed up. I am not sure why the 3rd grade boys don’t want to make their very own mermaid tail but it is a little shocking that they didn’t join the course in droves. Anyway, I am sure that Blitzen will enjoy the experience of designing a class about her favorite thing and sharing the joys with her friends. And as an added bonus, her two favorite grownup teachers are working with her.

When I think back to a year ago, when poor Blitzen was melting down and running out of the classroom every day after hours of frustrating test prep, I just shudder. What a difference.

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characters in books

I was reading to Blitzen a few nights ago, a new book that we were really enjoying, called To Catch a Mermaid.  She was very engaged as she almost always is at storytime.  And suddenly, she started sobbing – real, sad tears.  When I asked her why she was, quite suddenly, so very upset, she replied, “I want the characters in books to be real but they are only imaginary.”

Ah, yes, I understand.  I’ve felt this way  many a time.  I have often self-medicated through literature - completely lost myself at sad or trying times in books. Since bedtime is one of Blitzen’s more difficult times of day in terms of anxiety and fear, it is no wonder that she longs for storytime to go on and on, diving so deeply into the books, giving over her imagination and attention completely to the characters.

 

 

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parenthood

Parenthood teaches you so much about yourself and even more about your partner (should you be parenting with one). Andrew and I have been together for 22 years and his kindness, good humor, unending optimism, and fiercely loyal nature has never ceased to amaze me. But in all those years, I never would have guessed that Andrew had the capacity to play mermaid barbie for HOURS!  That, my friends, is an example of true and selfless love.

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Dressing up

Blitzen loves to dress up for ‘special occasions’.  This week, the occasions included student government where she had to dress for success (she was proposing pajama day but decided not to wear pjs during her presentation) and the last day of the teaching fellow that has been working with her class.  Next week, she will present at assembly her ‘special course’ (a class that she will be co-teaching next quarter with one of her favorite teachers) on mermaid tails and she is already thinking hard about what to wear that day and we are already arguing about the appropriateness of ‘high heels’ and mermaid tails as school attire.

Today, she composed a stunning ensemble of leggings, a grey tank top, a silver sequined skirt which she hiked up under her armpits and was wearing like a tube top over the grey tank, a purple belt not around her waist but situated high up on her chest, a silvery sweater shawl thing, white fur-trimmed boots and her new little purse (hand sewn made out of ribbon and an old tie!) and of course, a glittery pink head band.  I really should have taken a photo.

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Family visits, the fun kind

Andrew’s sister, Katie, and her partner, Tom, came to visit us this weekend.  We love these guys – they are playful and funny and fun and energetic.  Blitzen has a great time with them, often improvising skits where she and Tom talk to one another in old man voices and shake invisible canes at one another.  I am not sure why but it is hilarious.

Anyway, when they left on Sunday morning, Blitzen was sad as she often is when she has to say goodbye to people.  But digging deep and finding her inner problem-solver, Blitzen put some fancy outfits and her ‘high heeled’ shoes as well as her ipad into her backpack.  She waited at the door and followed them down the street, giggling, “I am going to fulfill my p-destiny with Katie and Tom!”  Don’t ask me where the extra ‘p’ sound came from.  She went along, destiny seeking, for about a block and then when it was time to turn back, there was just a whole lot of tears.  But it was good while it lasted.

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Caught between two worlds

As many of you may have realized, Blitzen has a thing for mermaids.  She is fascinated by them  – part person, part fish, live on land, live in the sea.  It is, of course, the perfect metaphor for her own situation.  How many times has Blitzen asked me, “Would you rather be a semi-mer or a full-mer?”.  More than I can count.

As I have mentioned, she is having a little bit of a hard time which has renewed, as it always does, her interest in writing her fairies and now, her mermaids.  She has asked her mermaids to please, please, please make her a full-mer.  Sigh — the fairies and mermaids cannot do this, as much as they would like to.  And the fairies and mermaids have been kind of hedging – they are looking for ancient mermaid texts, striped green electric eel eggs to use to concoct potions and they are waiting for the spring equinox (which just happens to be the date of the next court hearing).  Perhaps then, for the love of god and mermaids, there will be some kind of resolution and Blitzen can finally feel like she is really on the road to wherever she needs to be – full and complete and settled.

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Teenagers and their funky business

On the train to school one morning last week, Blitzen and I ran into a middle schooler of her acquaintance.  We all got off the train together and this young man started the long 2 block walk to school.

Blitzen turned to me and whispered, “Hurry up.  We need to stay right behind him and keep an eye on him.”

I said, “Honey, I think he is fine, he knows the way.”

Blitzen looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said, “You don’t understand teenagers.  They can get up to some seriously funky business if you don’t watch them.”

Well, there is no arguing with that.  We tailed the young man to school like a couple of undercover cops,  funky business avoided.

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And did I mention there will be costumes?

First, she excitedly tells anyone who will listen that she is the Queen.  Then she relays the plot and finally, she starts bouncing up and down and yells ‘AND there are costumes! Can you believe it? I get to wear a costume!!!’

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