Blitzen’s favorite item

By Blitzen:

My favorite item is my mermaid tail. It makes me feel like I am home. It gives me a shiver. When I am swimming, all I care about is swimming in my tail.

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Poem in Your Pocket Day

Last Thursday was Poem in Your Pocket Day and the children at Blitzen’s school composed poems and read them to friends, teachers and strangers throughout the day.

My Necklace by the Wonderful Blitzen

I like my necklace
It sings in the wind
It tells me to go swim
It tells I am a mermaid
I go swimming

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Oceania

Blitzen is teaching a special course at school to the other kids called Oceania. It is all about the ocean and how to make mermaid tails. Yesterday was the first day and she told me, with much surprise in her voice, that only girls signed up. I am not sure why the 3rd grade boys don’t want to make their very own mermaid tail but it is a little shocking that they didn’t join the course in droves. Anyway, I am sure that Blitzen will enjoy the experience of designing a class about her favorite thing and sharing the joys with her friends. And as an added bonus, her two favorite grownup teachers are working with her.

When I think back to a year ago, when poor Blitzen was melting down and running out of the classroom every day after hours of frustrating test prep, I just shudder. What a difference.

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characters in books

I was reading to Blitzen a few nights ago, a new book that we were really enjoying, called To Catch a Mermaid.  She was very engaged as she almost always is at storytime.  And suddenly, she started sobbing – real, sad tears.  When I asked her why she was, quite suddenly, so very upset, she replied, “I want the characters in books to be real but they are only imaginary.”

Ah, yes, I understand.  I’ve felt this way  many a time.  I have often self-medicated through literature - completely lost myself at sad or trying times in books. Since bedtime is one of Blitzen’s more difficult times of day in terms of anxiety and fear, it is no wonder that she longs for storytime to go on and on, diving so deeply into the books, giving over her imagination and attention completely to the characters.

 

 

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parenthood

Parenthood teaches you so much about yourself and even more about your partner (should you be parenting with one). Andrew and I have been together for 22 years and his kindness, good humor, unending optimism, and fiercely loyal nature has never ceased to amaze me. But in all those years, I never would have guessed that Andrew had the capacity to play mermaid barbie for HOURS!  That, my friends, is an example of true and selfless love.

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Caught between two worlds

As many of you may have realized, Blitzen has a thing for mermaids.  She is fascinated by them  – part person, part fish, live on land, live in the sea.  It is, of course, the perfect metaphor for her own situation.  How many times has Blitzen asked me, “Would you rather be a semi-mer or a full-mer?”.  More than I can count.

As I have mentioned, she is having a little bit of a hard time which has renewed, as it always does, her interest in writing her fairies and now, her mermaids.  She has asked her mermaids to please, please, please make her a full-mer.  Sigh — the fairies and mermaids cannot do this, as much as they would like to.  And the fairies and mermaids have been kind of hedging – they are looking for ancient mermaid texts, striped green electric eel eggs to use to concoct potions and they are waiting for the spring equinox (which just happens to be the date of the next court hearing).  Perhaps then, for the love of god and mermaids, there will be some kind of resolution and Blitzen can finally feel like she is really on the road to wherever she needs to be – full and complete and settled.

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Perfect, like a prairie burn

Blitzen had a great night and then, as Andrew was putting her to sleep – emotion.  Andrew being Andrew said it was perfect, just like a prairie burn.  Emotion expended, new stuff uncovered, anxiety revealed and released.

And Blitzen being Blitzen, was honest and sad and angry and funny (to us) all at the same time.

She began by saying that her littlest brother, let’s call him Chubby Cheeks, was lucky and got everything.  This, of course, is not true for poor little Chubby Cheeks who has been in several emergency placements over the past 6 months and spent several weeks in a residential facility.

“Chubby Cheeks gets everything, whatever he wants!  How do you think that makes me feel?  In this house, I’ve only ever gotten one thing that I wanted, a mermaid tail. No wait, 2 things – a tail and an american girl doll! Wait but also an ipod so just 3 things.  That is it, just 3 things that I really wanted.  Plus my lockets, I’ve gotten a tail, the dolls, my lockets and an ipod so that is still only 4 things. Well, 5 because I also have the H2O necklaces. But never chips, you only give me the healthy chips. I hate those chips!  My sisters and brothers get everything they want, how do think that makes me feel? They get everything!  Except for Little Man (another brother) he doesn’t get anything either so we can be mad but the rest of them get stuff all the time.  They can’t be mad. And you, you want me to eat the healthy chips but I think 1/2 of my mouth should be for healthy things and the other 1/2 for unhealthy things so I should be getting the unhealthy chips 1/2 the time.  But you want my entire mouth to be healthy!!!”

It went on a bit from there and then she settled in to tell Andrew about her day.  What an interesting little brain she has.

 

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Independence Day

Blitzen has been calling her birthday independence day.  As we began preparation for the big 10, we spent a lot time talking about independence and what that means.  It means having the freedom to make some of your own choices, it means doing some stuff on your own and taking more responsibility for yourself.

Blitzen is careful to remind us that just because a girl is independent, it doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like a little company while she is being independent (say like having me sit on the lid of the toilet and chat about mermaids while she is showering, that kind of thing).  But we’re examining the schedule to see what she can do for herself, on her own and we have told Blitzen that as long as she does her work first (guineas, homework, reading practice), she can spend the rest of her evenings as she wishes, pretty much.  We are still trying to limit her screen time but truthfully, she would much rather play than watch tv.  So on at least a couple of occasions, she has turned on the television but then commenced imaginary play. It is amazing how much kids (everyone!!!) want something more when they think it is limited.  She thinks she wants to watch tv all the time but in reality, she would really rather play baby dolls with Andrew or have a story read to her and talk about mermaids.

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It’s your birthday

Blitzen’s birthday just passed.  We had a mermaids and magic swim party at our community Y.  It was great.

The kids had a wonderful time, the lifeguards (in an act of extreme generosity) turned a blind-eye while
Blitzen swum around in her mermaid tail and then a young (14 year old) magician of our acquaintance did a super show for the kids after we all consumed a ton of pizza and mermaid birthday cake.  Our young magician was delightful, funny and very good at magic.  He kept the kids and grownups quite entertained.  And then everyone went home.

Easy, right? Typical, normal.  Yeah, exactly.  No meltdowns during, no sobbing at the conclusion, a completely anxiety free day beforehand.  So, I’ll say it again.  Wow, what a difference stability can make for somebody.  Last year, the morning before her party, Blitzen was out of control.  So anxious and manic and just nuts – I mean really, not a little, but way out there on the limb.  I remember last year, about 4 hours before the party, she was sobbing because we wouldn’t go to Chuck E Cheese yet.  She just kept crying, “You’ll make me miss it.  People will come and we’ll miss it.”  This year, as Blitzen happily pushed our old lady-style, NYC roll-y cart thing from our apartment to the Y, filled with decorations and beverages and pretty  paper plates, she skipped and chattered and was just excited and delighted.  Because she knew that she was having a party and her friends would come.  How did she know? Because we said so and like almost everything, it went down just as we planned.

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Merry Christmas, part 1

I was tense on Christmas, I admit it.  I often am around the holidays anyway – always kinda feels like pressure to be a million places with a million people all at once.  And of course, this year I was also worried about traveling with Blitzen during a stressful time but she was really great.  No huge meltdowns, a few ‘I hate you and everything about you’ rants but really nothing out of the 9 year old norm.

I have to say that spilling the beans about the holiday gifts was pure genius, no stress, no disappointment — just pure joy and glee upon receiving the completely expected gifts plus the bonus items from Santa in her stocking.  Top it all off with the many generous items from family and the kid got everything she asked for and a little bit more.

And that was just Christmas part 1.  The timeline went something like this:

Fly from NYC to NC, arrive late evening but get to SWIM in our mermaid tail (soon to be old, homemade mermaid tail) at the hotel before bed.

Wake up, go play with family and friends, swim with family and friends, play some more, go to bed, get outta bed, eat cereal with Andrew in hotel room while singing Taylor Swift songs as Carrie hides under the covers, go to sleep eventually.

Christmas Eve — wake up, swim, play, go make holiday cookies, play and resentfully go holiday shopping for last minute gifts, swim, go have holiday meal with family, then participate in an improv comedy skit with aunt and uncle people both of whom have missed their calling and should really go join Second City because the whole family was rolling on the floor after Blitzen assigned them the roles of ‘annoying girl’ and ‘annoying neighbor’ in her imaginary play game.  I can’t recall it all but at one point there was an imaginary salamander circus….Need I say more?

Christmas Day — wake up too early, freakishly agree to watch a video until it is an hour respectable enough to crash home of lovely relatives, go open stocking and expected gifts, eat holiday brunch, play, play and play some more, get on airplane and fly to Phx for Merry Christmas, part 2.

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