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Posts Tagged ‘mermaids’

A couple of folks asked if Blitzen has allowance — she does.  She gets $10 a week to spend exactly as she wishes – she has a couple of responsibilities around the house (aside from just general helping) that she needs to do to trigger payment.

She vacillates a bit between wild spending sprees (all the Claire’s lip gloss $10 can get you) and attempting to save up for big things.  Saving is actually very stressful for her — the obsessive compulsive behaviors kick in, constantly counting the money, crying because there isn’t enough, crying because we won’t help her get to her goal (we actually almost always do a 50/50 split when she is saving for something big), non-stop discussion about when she will have enough money, when we will obtain the dream item.  A lot of this has to do with her total mistrust of realizing anything good in the future — it has to happen now or it likely will never happen.  This is a kid who has experienced a long lifetime of broken promises, small and large. Again, completely understandable given her background.  It just makes teaching these everyday lessons tricky and as someone in the comments mentioned, really hard to distinguish the typical kid behaviors from the trauma related ones.

But you will all be glad to know that we have saved 2/3s of the cash needed for yet another mermaid tale.

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As mentioned, Blitzen is exploring an array of conflicted and heavy emotions right now. And it is playing out, as these things do, in just about all aspects of our life.

One of Blitzen’s odd triggers is cleaning the guinea pig cage. I guess most children who own guinea pigs argue with their parents about cleaning the cage. I get it, it is gross, creating how to videos is whole lot more fun, and you know, the whole childhood – you are not the boss of me – thing.

But with Blitzen, every day parental disagreements are so loaded. So, during our weekly cage cleaning, Blitzen got pretty mad at me. And I told her that I wasn’t interested in being yelled at so she could clean the cage independently or call me when she was ready work together without fighting.

Her response,’You always bail on me. You just walk away. You’ve been lying to me since I was 8. And telling me that I can’t be what I really want to be.’

And I said, ‘Blitzen, what is this really about? I don’t think we’re talking about guinea pigs any more.’

Blitzen yelled, ‘you told me I could never be a mermaid and all I want is be a mermaid. I believe it but you don’t.’

Carrie replied, ‘Blitzen, that doesn’t sound like me. I don’t bail on you, I am here, right now, trying to help. And as for mermaids, some people believe in them and some people don’t. But you can believe it in and I think it is wonderful that you do.’

Oh boy, my poor Blitzen. It really sucks to be in this in between, insecure place.

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mermaid potion

Salt, check — sea shells (2), check — fancy potion bottle, check — underwater video camera to film the action, check

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At dinner last night, Blitzen was telling us about a new game she made up with 2 of her more imaginative friends.  She was the mom, a mermaid mom, of course, and her kids were werewolves.  

Andrew interrupts, “Um, wait, you are a mermaid but your kids are werewolves?”

Blitzen looks at Andrew like this is obvious, “Yeah, because their dad was a werewolf.”

Andrew continues, “Who played the dad the werewolf?”

Blitzen again looks at Andrew like he is a little bit dense, “Nobody.  Who knows where the dad werewolf is, and who cares?!? Anyway... so my werewolf daughters have to save me before I die,” she explains.

Then I interject,” You have so much imagination, Blitzen. I wonder if I had that much imagination in 4th grade.”  I cast around in my brain – what did you play at recess in 4th grade?  And then it hits me, I hung out with my good friend Jennie O and we played, you are not going to believe this, Seawees.  Anybody else remember seawees?  Jennie O and I smuggled them to school in our pockets (nobody had backpacks then) — they were petite mermaids with fabulously colored hair and we made up these really elaborate seawee scenarios under the lone tree (scrub bush really) in our hot, hot, dry, dry Arizona playground. 

So clearly the whole mermaid thing got transferred to Blitzen by osmosis.

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We visited with some old friends this weekend.  We hadn’t seen them in about a year.

It is always exciting to get together with friends, it is a rare treat these days.  And it is always exciting to watch Blitzen with people and to see how much she has grown.  Our friends commented on how mature and calm she was.  The highlight of the day (which included a visit to some formal gardens with space to run and an old mansion – no running but cool stuff –  as well as a lengthy meal at a grownup restaurant) was when Blitzen calmly said, “Excuse me, Carrie, when you are done with your conversation with E, may I talk to her?”  Why of course you can, my darling girl.  And thank you for asking so nicely instead of pulling on my arm and shouting, “Let’s talk about mermaids!”

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Um, so, I thought we were shaking the whole mermaid tail thing but oh no, Blitzen found a fresh crop of mermaid tail how-to videos as well as some mermaid potion recipes on youtube and we are back at it full force.

Blitzen has spent the past 48 hours or so creating a mermaid tail from an old pair of pajama bottoms, duct tape and cardboard.  God bless my mother-in-law who is here for a visit and to help us fill the childcare gap before school starts on Monday.  She has been Blitzen’s primary duct tape tail partner.  They are on our 3rd roll of duct tape and the two of them just keep on cutting and taping, cutting and taping.  And of course, they are video taping the process for posterity as well as to educate others.

I might add that there are currently 6 glasses of mermaid potion sitting on my counter – ingredients include food coloring, a pinch of sugar, water and a seashell. Many magical incantations have been spoken, fingers and hands have been waved over the top – now we are just waiting for them to ‘cure’.  Apparently, it takes 3 days for a mermaid potion to ripen….

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On Thursday, this family will officially be on vacation for 11 super relaxing days.  (I hope, I hope, I hope it is super relaxing.)

We are heading out west – a quick stop in Phoenix to see Andrew’s dad and then on to San Diego for a week with my parents and siblings and nieces and nephew.  We will swim in the pool and go to the beach and make a journey up to Disneyland.  I am looking forward to shopping at the farmers market, cooking and reading.  Can’t wait!

Blitzen packed her bags early, of course, but not as early as our first vacation.  She loaded a tote bag with her on the airplane essentials – ipad, snack bag, american girl doll, and of course (because it doesn’t fit into her suitcase) her monofin for her mermaid tale.

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