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Posts Tagged ‘Morning routine’

Blitzen, it is Tuesday tomorrow so you remember, I have to leave for work early, right?

Yes, Carrie.

Ok, so when I leave early, you are not going to feel upset because you remember.

Oh no, I am going to be upset.

Why, honey, we’re talking about it now?

I just don’t like you to leave me.

 

All relayed to me as calm as can be.  And she didn’t get upset, but she just got nervous and then ready early.  Calling down to me every 30 seconds – Carrie, did you leave yet?

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So, I left the house early for a meeting which I explained to Blitzen but that she didn’t quite digest.

First she called me, crying, and said, ‘If you think a half hug that you give someone when they are laying in their bed is a real hug, I don’t even know why you became a parent!’  This, I hear, as I am riding to work in a taxi.

Then she calls me again to say that she is sorry for yelling at me but she can’t stick with it and gets mad at me all over again.

Finally, she video texts herself getting ready for school and says, ‘I thought it was going to be a happy day but it is going to an upset day. Because of you, because you never learn.  So now, I am going to wear high heels and makeup to school!’ Well, that will show me, for sure.

I remember back in the day before all this crazy technology. If I got mad at my mom in the morning, I just had to stay mad all day and tell when I got home from school. Or, more likely, forget about it before lunch time.

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Blitzen and Andrew had to leave early for school today.  It was a hard morning.  Blitzen captured it all beautifully, as she so often does, when she said to Andrew through her tears, “Why do you change my routine? You know you always regret it!”

Indeed, child, we often do.

 

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I gave Blitzen this book about buckets.  How if you fill someone else’s bucket, your bucket gets filled up too.  We just started working with this concept but when I tucked her in last night, I said that I was going to try harder to fill her bucket (and mine) and that I hoped she think about being a bucket filler the next day too.

Well, mornings are mornings and in the midst of it all Blitzen was her usual insightful self.  After yelling at me that she would not get dressed because her eyes were still sleepy, she snarkily said, ‘And my bucket will never be full.’  So many days, sadly, I fear that is true.

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Are a therapeutic tool.  Who knew?  Our morning angst and drama has significantly decreased now that we can be in constant walkie talkie contact. (Of course it has only been a few days, we’ll see if it has lasting impact.)

Blitzen to Carrie, “Carrie, are you getting dressed?”

Carrie to Blitzen, “Yes, are you getting dressed?”

Blitzen to Andrew, “I’d like a bagel with cream cheese, please. I am almost done. I am coming downstairs.”

Andrew to Blitzen, “I left the guinea pig treats by their cage, over.”

And on it goes.  The constant stress of a yelling kid – “Where are you? Where were you? I can’t see you and it is stressing me out!!” Ok, the last part was always silent but we knew it was there.  We are either testing a new and fantastic approach that will help develop secure attachment or training Blitzen to be a trucker.  Doesn’t matter – both would be useful.

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So, it has gotten cold.  Yesterday morning, we were late.  I always think we are late, Andrew always thinks we are early, Blitzen is always dawdling.  Yesterday even Andrew thought we were late and Blitzen was gearing up for a fight.  After being told that she did not have time to make a tie-thing (think bonnet with long ribbons to tie it in place) out of duct tape to hold her jacket hood tightly upon her head  “but I’ll be real quick, I’ll do it right now!”, she decided to settle for a hat.  As if it was that easy.

Blitzen, “That hat is too small for my head. I’m almost 11!”

Carrie, “Ok, how about this headband ear-warmy thing that I sometimes use?  It will fit your head if it fits my head.”

Blitzen, takes it, eyes me and the ear-warmy thing suspiciously and then says, completely serious, “Carrie, do you have lice?”

Carrie, “Excellent question, honey.  And good job thinking about your personal hygiene.  No, I do not have lice.  I think it is safe to borrow it.”

Andrew, barely suppressing his laughter, “But maybe we shouldn’t borrow hats from friends at school.”

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A couple of days ago, I got really sick.  Terrible tummy trouble, high fever – really not good.  Blitzen came home (her lovely babysitter agreed to stay late so that I could sleep and throw up in peace because Andrew had a class) and Blitzen sweetly brought me a bottle of ginger ale, asked how I was feeling, asked if I had thrown up, asked how many times, did I have a fever, etc.  After carefully assessing the situation, she then got really mad at me because I had come home early from work and one time, when she threw up in the afternoon,  I made her go to school the next day.  Yet more evidence that I get to do whatever I want in this life and what I want most is to torture Blitzen.

The next morning, Blitzen said that she had a stomach ache.  I was still sick and while I was fairly certain that Blitzen’s symptoms were not quite severe enough to miss school, I told her that she could stay home with me but that we were going to stay in bed all day because if we were sick enough to miss school and work, we were too sick to play.

Blitzen considered this carefully and then said, “Well, I really don’t feel good but I am not used to missing school, Carrie, so I should go.”  Andrew and I aren’t sure if it was the threat of a boring day laying around with sick me or the thought of being out of her routine that convinced her to go but you’ll glad to hear that she was feeling fully recovered by the time they arrived at school.

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Was calm, a first.  The child rose with no grumpiness, cheerfully accepted assistance with her hair and was happy with the finished product.  I allowed her to wear those little church/kitten/kiddy heals she has and she brought both flipflops and sneakers as back up.  Progress presents itself in the most unusual ways and on the most surprising days.

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My niece H is in town for a week with my mother. Then we’re all flying to Az then on to Cali for a big vacation with my siblings and their kids.  But Blitzen and H have, despite only seeing each other twice a year and being separated by 3,000 miles, become cousin bffs.  H is all that Blitzen has talked about for weeks.  We wrote the day of their arrival on the calendar and we’ve been checking and counting the days compulsively since the start of June.

Blitzen tells everyone that she encounters, ‘My cousin H is coming and we’re going to have so much fun!’  It is really quite adorable.  This morning, the girls, in all their excitement, after falling asleep at midnight, awoke at 5am.  We said, no way, go back to sleep.  You need to rest.  Blitzen, future litigator, came downstairs to explain why we were so wrong to insist that they go back to sleep.

Blitzen, standing by Andrew’s side of the bed, giving an impassioned speech that went something like this, ‘It is not really fair for you to tell us to sleep when we are not sleepy and we just want to play.  That is why H is here, you know, to play with me.  Also, we’re young and you guys are kinda old still kinda young but more old so you probably need more sleep than us. We tried to go back to sleep but we are awake and we really just want to build a fort.  How about we quietly build a fort and watch the ipad in it and …”

Andrew to Blitzen, “Blitzen, it is 5:00am.  I think the fact that you are standing here arguing about this might be one sign that your body and brain need more sleep.”

Blitzen to Andrew, “Andrew, I am not done, don’t interrupt me please, it is my turn to talk.  And H and I just want to talk, what if we just talk but not sleep.  We could just get up and start, you know, our usual routine? Like getting dressed and brushing our teeth and stuff.  Also, I just want to tell you that we have a guest and I am down here arguing with you – you are making me argue – and I think that is just rude because I should be upstairs, playing with our guest and taking care of her.”

At this point, we surrendered, mostly because we were afraid that we would burst out laughing.

 

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Got a loving, snuggling girl – happy to have me back and not angry that I went (at least not yet!).

And Andrew introduced an exercise ball to the tv room -  he is fricking genius, my spouse.  Blitzen sits on the ball bouncing like mad, directly in front of the tv while Andrew and Blitzen watch their daily 15 minutes of The Voice.  They both love the show.  We dvr it so they can get a daily dose before bedtime stories and most importantly, they can skip the boring parts.

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