Posted in Blitzen, tagged adventure, Blitzen, creativity, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, guinea pigs, imaginative play, Morning routine, parenting on May 29, 2013 | 3 Comments »
Blitzen really hates going up the stairs in our very narrow, very tall house. Yesterday, she invented a dumb-waiter of sorts. Using her easter basket and some purple sparkly yarn, she now raises and lowers things from the second floor landing into the living room. Things that were airlifted this morning in one direction or the other:
1) tupperware of guinea pig treats (left over strawberry tops with leaves attached and celery)
2) ipod
3) deodorant
4) stuffed puppy dog
Her favorite part of this invention is getting Andrew and I to watch the action. “Watch it float down, are you looking?!?”
Posted in Blitzen, tagged Bedtime routine, Blitzen, Carrie, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine, parenting on May 16, 2013 | 1 Comment »
First of all, mornings are so much better than they used to be. I got out of the way and it really helped. Andrew and Blitzen have a whole routine and I am just there for good morning hugs and breakfast conversation — it has made all the difference. Of course, mornings are still mornings. And I suppose I miss a little bit the quiet, leisurely routine I used to have in another (simpler but more boring) life that included wandering around in my robe and reading the paper. Now, most mornings are fine but I was standing on the curb today with a pouting 10 year old asking, “Can you explain why you got so angry this morning?” instead of dashing off to work early, as planned. And in the end, dashing off to work early was the answer to the question.
Posted in Blitzen, tagged Blitzen, Education, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine, parenting on May 3, 2013 | 6 Comments »
Blitzen said to me in response to my raised eyebrow in response to her informing me that I was ‘not the boss of her and could not tell her read 2 books for homework’.
And then miraculously, we didn’t have that kind of night. We compromised – 1 book and some reading flash cards. By bathtime, she was singing in the shower and jolly as can be.
Whew!
Posted in Blitzen, tagged Blitzen, Education, Foster care, foster parenting, memory, Morning routine, parenting on April 18, 2013 | 6 Comments »
Blitzen has some short-term memory issues. And she is 10. Consequently, she misplaces and forgets things – a lot. Last night, she was sure that her favorite necklace was in her bed but it wasn’t. Now don’t get me started on why perhaps your bed is not a safe place to store your favorite necklace.
She cried and cried, so distraught. She wanted to look for her necklace. But we held firm and said no. It was bed time, I was sure that we would find the necklace in the morning (and we did). It was heartbreaking, though, to hear Blitzen sobbing, “Why am I always losing stuff?”. She gets so frustrated. And I can relate to the feeling, there is nothing more infuriating than that memory, hovering just outside of reach, somewhere in your brain but you just can’t get it. I think Blitzen spends a lot of the day, wrestling with that feeling – what is that kid’s name, again? what is this word that I am reading? where did I put that? what did I eat for lunch?
And it makes parenting more challenging, in serious ways and in just annoying, routine ways. I sent the following text to the babysitter today:
C – B has left several items at school that need to be gathered and returned home: 2 pairs of sneakers, 2 lunch boxes, 1 iPod and several pairs of socks. Could you assist with this after school? I would be thrilled if we could locate even 1/2 of said items. Thanks
Posted in Blitzen, Uncategorized, tagged anger, Blitzen, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine, parenting, sisters, support, village on March 4, 2013 | 8 Comments »
A Saturday morning with no ipad and no tv. Because of, you know, consequences. Consequences suck for everybody not just the consequenced.
The following conversation started when I reminded Blitzen that her consequence for unacceptable behavior the night before was no screen time in the morning.
Blitzen to Carrie, “So I never get to watch tv again?!?”
Carrie, “You do not get to watch tv this morning.”
Blitzen, “I never want to see you again.”
Carrie (feeling spiteful and crabby and remembering when she got to sleep until 10am on Saturdays instead of waking up at 6:45am to argue about ipads) replied, “I am sorry that you hate living here so much.”
Blitzen to Carrie, “I didn’t say that. You are always putting words in my mouth, all the time.”
Carrie, “You do that too Blitzen. Maybe we should work on not doing that to one another.”
Blitzen, “You put words in my mouth all the time, Carrie, I just do it often. You work on it by yourself! And if I can’t have my ipad, you can’t have your kindle. That is your consequence for trying to poke my eyeball out!”
The evening before, I opened a door and bonked Blitzen on the head — her interpretation is that it was a deliberate act of aggression where I tried to blind her for my own amusement. So clearly, I also deserve a consequence. And being verbally tortured by a 10 year old all morning instead of getting to quietly read the Times while sipping my coffee is clearly not consequence enough in this child’s opinion.
Posted in Blitzen, tagged agency, Bedtime routine, Blitzen, Carrie, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine, parenting, trauma on February 6, 2013 | 9 Comments »
Sigh…never good but sometimes I just can’t help myself. This morning I spoke in a loud, mean voice. I was tired, I was late, I had been patient for a really really long time and Blitzen was being, how shall we say, resistant to getting ready for school. I rarely elevate the volume because it just isn’t impactful and Blitzen tends to freak out when I do but sometimes I just want Blitzen to do what I need her to do, and I want her to do it now, not 45 minutes from now. Of course that is all about me and I acknowledge that.
I always instantly regret it. First, she desolves into tears, looking so hurt and surprised – Et tu, Brute? – and then she gets really really really mad. So much of this reaction is automatic with Blitzen- a response to trauma and drama that I just don’t know anything about and perhaps never will. Anyway, it was a sucky way to start the morning and made me wish that I had one of those citronella collars like you get for a barking dog — when the volume goes up, a quick spray of something unpleasant to remind you that this is a bad idea….
Posted in Blitzen, tagged Blitzen, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, imaginative play, Morning routine, Music, parenting on January 29, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
Blitzen loves to incorporate a good song lyric into her everyday conversation. Taylor Swift, in particular, seems to strike the right note with Blitzen. I guess they have similar philosophies although Blitzen is quite confused by Taylor’s revolving door of boyfriends. We talk about that a lot. Almost every new Taylor Swift hit results in a conversation something like this:
Blitzen says, “Taylor has a new boyfriend?!?”
Me or Andrew, “No, I think this is song is just about breaking up with the old boyfriend.”
Blitzen, “Wait, what is she singing about?”
Me or Andrew reply that it is whatever teenage angsty issue Taylor is belting out.
Blitzen reflects, “She sure has a lot of different boyfriends!”
Anyway, this morning as I was leaving for work (a little earlier than usual) and Blitzen thought about getting upset and cranky, she decided to serenade me with the lyrics from Stay Stay Stay instead.
This kid really couldn’t get any cuter.
Posted in Blitzen, Uncategorized, tagged Blitzen, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine on January 17, 2013 | 1 Comment »
While I was on the road, Blitzen and Andrew started a new morning wake up routine. Blitzen got an alarm clock for Christmas – the spiffy kind that you can plug your ipod into. Now, she wakes up every morning to her favorite song. She ignores the alarm until Andrew comes into her room and then she begins to dance. First one, one little finger will poke out of the covers, swaying back and forth, then there is a little head-nodding, followed by rhythmic shoulder rolls and finally, full on booty shaking in the bed.
It is really quite funny to watch and is a much more cheerful way for everyone to the start the day (compare to our former cajoling and begging and nagging). I am trying to keep myself out of the morning routine – Andrew and Blitzen are just better at it when I don’t interfere, kind of like not opening the oven door to check on your souffle. You just have to have faith that it is, indeed, rising!
Posted in Blitzen, tagged Blitzen, Family, Foster care, foster parenting, Morning routine, parenting, sleep on December 21, 2012 | 1 Comment »
Blitzen woke up grouchy, yes, grouchy. She was fussing and fighting and didn’t want to get out of bed. Somewhere along the way, in the middle of her crankiness, she and I enjoyed a moment of levity. We smiled, we chuckled – life was good. But just as quickly as sunshine appeared, it vanished. A cloud crossed Blitzen’s face.
‘What’s up?’ I asked. ‘I thought we were having fun.’
Blitzen glowered at me, covers pulled up to her chin, her most stubborn look on her face and snarled, ‘Don’t get used it, it was a one time thing.’
It was very hard to keep a straight face.
