Blitzen’s love language is gifting and getting gifted (and quality time, and praise, and well, frankly, she needs and responds to it all but I digress).
After our drama earlier in the week, Blitzen conned my Aunt B (who was babysitting for the day) into taking her to the store to get us matching lockets to fill with fairy dust. And then she was so excited, and anxious and Blitzen-ish, that they showed up an hour early for the parent, student, teacher conference because Blitzen just couldn’t wait a moment longer. She was so proud of the locket and couldn’t wait to give it to me. It was lovely and sweet but I sure do wish that we could break her of this obsession with giving and getting material objects. It puts such an emphasis on stuff and I don’t like it. I mean, I like stuff as much as the next guy but the stuff is just stuff. It seems to always take on monumental importance with Blitzen.
This weekend, she wanted to bring her mermaid tail on our little road trip to visit friends. But she didn’t want to share the mermaid tail and she was looking to start a fight. So, out of the blue, she announces that she won’t share it, it belongs to her, it is special and basically, I am not the boss of her, so there. I am sure you all can picture it. Well, I wasn’t biting, so I just nodded and said, ‘Yup, I agree. Sometimes it really sucks to share. You can choose not to take your tail so that you don’t have to share it.’
Well, then we were off to the races, as they say. Blitzen was going to reason with me, break it down, explain it all but in a highly agitated and overly emotional way. She would illustrate once and for all why I had it all wrong and no one should have to share, ever, whether they bring their tail or not.
Blitzen to me, ‘Haven’t you ever had any thing really special to you? I mean really special.’ Me to Blitzen, ‘Sure and I didn’t always like to share but my mom usually made me and now I know that it is the best thing to do even when I don’t feel like it.’ Blitzen, knowing that stuff is not so important to me, says, ’No, I mean really special. Like J, how would you feel if you had to share J?!?’
Now, J is my mom. And I am the oldest of 4, the youngest being 13 years my junior. So, um, I totally know about sharing and certainly know about sharing J. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This was so loaded. Of course a person shouldn’t have to share their mom. Seriously, if you are Blitzen, what could be worse? But I did not laugh or cry. I simply said, ‘Honey, I share J every day with my sisters and my brother and now I share her with you too. That is just how it works.’
Blitzen to me, ‘You are not listening!’
Me to self, ‘Oh yes I am!’
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