There’s a very tangible list of things of Blitzen’s that we don’t have that would be helpful for us.
We don’t have a stitch of her clothing, other than what she was wearing when she arrived.
We don’t have any of her toys or comfort items.
We don’t have her medications, or know what they were.
We don’t have her eyeglasses. In fact, we just learned today that she wears glasses. (It was mentioned on her IEP, which we’re thrilled to now have.)
We don’t have any photos of her family.
We can work with all of that. We’ve been shopping for clothes and toys. We have doctors’ appointments on Thursday, and our wonderful agency is working on therapy placements. Blitzen’s nana is trying to get her hands on photos of important family members to hang in our house.
The hard part isn’t what we don’t have, it’s what we don’t know.
Where did Blitzen live when, with whom? Where did she go to school before last year? How did she get soothed to sleep when she as a baby? What was her favorite thing to play when she was three? Who were her friends when she was seven, and where are they now? Why was she hospitalized this year? What has she witnessed that a eight-year-old shouldn’t witness? What has she seen that she’d like to un-see? What people have been warm, loving influences on her? What have been her happiest days?
Carrie and I want to know everything. We want to unravel and better understand this stunning kid. We want be archeologists, to excavate her past, to interview everyone who knows her, to meet her parents, her teachers, her friends, her former social workers and unearth every scrap of information we can to help us craft a narrative that makes sense about where Blitzen has come from and who she is now.
Blitzen feels mysterious to us. Of course, every child, every human, is a bit of a mystery. Our friends tend to be the kind of inspiring parents who have spent every possible minute playing with their kids, and those kids frequently do and say things that make their parents wonder who they are, where they came from and what combination of DNA and experience led to this little human being way more brilliant/beautiful/soulful than ought be possible.
Carrie and I will do our best to take some courses in the blossoming field of Blitzen Archeology, but what we’ll major in is Blitzen Appreciation.
(Edit: A big part of the reason we have so little and know so little is that Blizten was recently transferred to our agency. They’re learning her story along with us.)